Our time in Cavite was coming to an end, a mild start to our wander around South East Asia. Our next port of call was the lucious Borocay island. A 1 hour flight to Caticlan airport and a helicopter trip to the island was what was waiting for us, best birthday present ever from B.
I'm going to warn you here dudes and dudettes, it gets a bit messy from here on out and by messy I mean I won't be held responsible if you suffer from shock afer reading it, as I know you all know what a good boy I am. Ok, so here we go;
The plane itself was hilarious, I ran into a Philippino I knew from back home by chance and after a brief exchange of words, we were off to get our plane. Has anyone heard of the Wright brothers? That's right, the guys who built the first plane. That is what we were getting on. I thought it was hilarious, my partner in crime, didn't. The best part for me was when they started playing "guess what I have" games when the plane hit turbulence. A paper plane me and Moggy used to make in Biology class would have made it quicker and would have gotten us there safer.
Obviously, we arrive safe as houses and we probably hold the record for quickest time of exiting and re-entering an airport, as no sooner had we landed off the plane we were checking back in to fly to Borocay by chopper. I felt like a mix between John McClane and Jack Bauer. Whopper.
When we did arrive to the wonderful island, we were greeted by a sound chap who brought us to our 5 star hotel (don't worry it's not me sitting around ringing room service all day). You're in paradise, sun is shining, you've just avoided a typhoon by a day (apparently) what do you do? Bottle of red, exactly.
Cocktails and beers were consumed and a fire show was taken in. I sound my intention to take part in it but my claim is quashed quickly by B as she doesn't want me to get hurt "again" pah....
So the next morning after she gets over the fact she's broken her toe the night before and I stop laughing at her, we go for food. Me and hop-a-long meet this sound Philly named Ryan who brings us on this boat trip Island hopping. Now this blog is about the crazy shizzle that happens so I'm going to take a swerve on this because it went very "according to plan" for want of a better word.
It's my birthday!!! I dislike my birthday generally, but today I'm going to celebrate because Shels, my 1st love, my beloved dublin football club (in the 2 weeks I've left Irish soil) have remembered how to win, and despite being 1st division fodder to most people, are in the cup final!!!!!
BOLLOCKS, I'm going to miss it!!!!!!!!!!!
Fook it, I hate my birthday.
Drinking away the pain of missing this in a bar and after a fair few bottles and shots of muck, we realise the tide has come in and if we don't leave soon we'll be swimming home. As we're wading back both of us get into some sort of an argument, about pythagoris' theorum I do believe and we go back to the hotel. So I wake up outside the hotel by the cleaners asking me if I want a glass of water. I must say, it's a lot more enjoyable waking up outside a 5 star hotel of a tuesday with the sun shining, than of a wet, bitter sunday on the Orwell roundabout in Dublin's fine suburb of Templeogue.
B has a 2nd broken toe, I have hideous sunburn that makes me look like that time I almost OD'd on Vodka in Bratislava with my Shelbourne mates, and the hangovers have started to catch me, is this what it feels like to be 25???
Borocay is a lovely spot, 4km beach of nothing but hotels, bars 'n restaurants. Perfect for hooneymoon, family getaway or two 25 year olds who are so drunk they don't know their arse from their elbow. Infairness, we did lots of nice things, but lets be honest, yiz don't wanna know about them.
We start planning our next visiting point with the hope of breaking less bones, drinking less alcohol and actually making it to the beds we paid for.
Yeah I didn't expect you to believe that, deep down we didn't either.
To a place called Kalibo next, with a journey down south to Iloilo next. Transport, accomodation and a plan of what to do when we're there is an after thought with us as we go for a final cocktail before heading off on our motorboat, into the tropical thunderstorms rather than sunset.
*Shels are playing Shamrock Rovers tonight (Who I'm not the fondest of and love beating so here's to a Reds victory.)
Sorry for going off topic, next installment is about illicit drinking on illicit streets, 60's curtains and going on a bender with English gents in a jungle.
FTA.
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