"Follow me and I'll be right behind you"....

We've bordered a coach, bound for San Carlos, this should be fun. It wasn't. I slept for the 3 and a half hour journey. A change over meaning a ferry trip for an hour and a half to Toledo was next and I was planning on getting some z's for this too. We made friends with a family of Phillies as we tended to do more often than not. Given our late arrival time into Cebu City, the woman decided to ring ahead and find us a place to kip for the night.

The ferry was actually very nice but I think that's because despite buying the reject tickets that didn't stop us from heading up to "higher class" anyway. We do what we want. We slept on this too, as our body clocks were still rubber ducked but felt the better for it once we got off and awaited a scenic five hour + bus journey into Cebu City from Toledo, where we had just arrived into.

We're turfed off the bus around 8.30pm, on a busy motorway due to the fact the "hotel" is on the other side and the driver had taken a wrong turn. He wasn't feeling very James Bond-ish obviously like our previous taxi driving gent. The idea for crossing roads in the Philippines is very simple. Ignore everything you have learned as a child of safe cross code etiquette. You stick your head straight out, looking directly ahead and just walk, same steady pace and don't stop whatever you do.There's hundreds and what seems thousands of bikes, trikes jeepneys, cars, vans, 18 wheelers coming your way, but amazingly, they all swerve you. It's like a sick game as unless you're used to it, you'll need to bring clean shorts.

The less said about this gaff, the better. Beautiful looking on the outside and cheap but inside was hideous. Kind of like  my ex-girlfriends. I had never been so hungry in my life so we tried the restaurant hoping it would bring the place up in my estimation. After about 30 minutes of waiting, I'm so hungry I can't even drink the beer in front of me, I notice a sign that makes me want to top meself.


"Kareoke night"


 Shiza!!


Philippinos are usually fantastic singers, however, it's the choice of song that can be the downfall. Westlife, The Cranberries, Evanescence and Journey are all tributes to expect to hear on a regular night out. Now it's fine every now and then to hear this but every single time, I'm not joking. Having spent 5 weeks here the year previous on leave from the job, I remembered it all too well. B was having her fill off it too, as these guys were just not doing justice to songs she sings in her sleep (which she actually does for anyone wondering)

Now don't get me wrong, I like kids, I just don't think I should have me own just yet as I struggle to take care of myself at the best of times, but this kid gets up, about 12 or 13, the really annoying know-it-all type of kid, a bit chubby round the ankles doing the most ridiculous dance singing Justin Bieber.

Really? Really?? Justin Bieber?? Really????

I couldn't even finish my food. Maybe it was the long travel, the rubbish accommodation.... nah it was definitely the kid. We decided then that Cebu was going to be a stop over and sure if we were that desperate we could get it on the way back. We were here for the sights, following my makeshift plan would lead us to Bohol, a place I really wanted to give a decent butchers hook to. Chocolate Hills, Tarsier monkeys and all round fantastic sights n' beaches. So we decided, get up in the morning and flee, another ferry was waiting for us, oh joy!


Tomorrow is about jungle trekking, noisy neighbours and "Ding Dong and Dada"

I was going to deliver another Bernadette-ism but I've decided to flip it to show I'm not being a monster and that I too come out with this shit gold!

Billboard of a baby about a smoking ad above a building;

B: That baby is soooo photoshopped into that picture

Me: (trying to be smart) Yeah, so is the shadow...

B: If the baby is photoshopped into it.....

Me: *Head slap*

There's an awful amount of these gems.

Be good folks, cheers for reading my ramblings, if there was a God, you'd go to heaven.