"Lets make like a branch and get the fuck out of here" - Shane O'Neill

So I'm in a job that frustrates the Jaysus out of me, paying through the nose for an apartment in skagsville, drink with the same gobshites every week and support a football club that disappoint me more than when Ghostbusters was cancelled from that ideal Saturday morning slot as a youngfella.

So what do you do? Grab your mate, leggit and don't look back!

Sunday 9 September 2012

"When will people with iPhones realize, there is no app for loneliness?"

Heads were rough the following morning. As per usual, I had woken fairly early. This was due to the sound of my skin audibly crackling from the sunshine coming through the window. I decided to leave the hut Linda was snoring away in and try find mine now that it was daylight. It seemed to be easy enough as people had told me you could walk the entire Island in 45 minutes. Well they've never met me. 2 hours later I've given up and I'm on a couple of buckets in the Irish bar (it was the only one open) until I spot Laura and her crew and they give me directions to where I'm staying.

I get in and leave my buckets at the door, as if I was coming home from a hard days grafting and leaving my filthy work boots outside. B's not impressed at my late night excursions but I win her over by telling some hideous jokes repeatedly until she gives in.

The beach is on the cards next, technically I'd been there already the night before however this was quite a changed beach during "civilized" hours. Sunbathing, frisbee and milkshake consumption were the main activities happening here which, to be fair, I was enjoying. It was a really awesome place, not just the beach but the entire island. The girls were oiling themselves up and B was still trying to convince everyone she'd be "black" but had a lot to do to back up the statement.

Me and the Graham lad had taken a wander round taking in the views and for a moment I actually stopped and appreciated everything that was going on around me. Not having to work, in the sunshine, great people, it was all just marvellous.

Right, enough of that, now for the fun stuff.


The Irish bar, Jordan's as far as I know, was hit up again to begin the night. M150 was flying, so we're resigned to knowing this is going to be sloppy.
I find myself in a 7Eleven buying more M150 chatting with these Dublin girdles, I've invited them round to the pub but when I get there everyone has already gone. Their all in The Reggae bar.

This place is unreal. Looks like Bob Marley and Manny Pacquiao's love nest. I say this as it's doused in Reggae paraphernalia with a giant boxing or "Muay Thai" ring and everyone drinking there is eligible to fight. I want to get in as the winner gets a free bucket but no one will let due to the fact I had a head injury (from before I left Dublin, explains a lot, I know)

Step up Martin The Viking. He means serious business and as a soldier in the danish army, he means fucking business. After a bogey first round, he annihilates his opponent, poor chap. One of my funniest memories I have hands down is hi lying on the floor of the ring after the first round and sucking some whiskey bucket through a straw, getting up like Popeye on spinach and going Johnny Carthy, on the young lad who had clearly soiled himself.


To celebrate, Slinky's was hit again. I instantly lose everyone as I'm dancing on some table with a gang of girls, coz I'm a player like that, pffft. I get chatting with this girl from a place that shall not be named...... okay it's Cork. 

We end up chatting for hours before I realize what time it is and I haven't been home, again. B get's quite worried due to my child like antics that usually more often than not, get me into trouble.

I get home eventually and add to the bucket collection outside our hut. We're all good, get breakfast and go the beach again the following day, I get another massage and spend the day chilling out.

Best massage ever too.

Day becomes night, people become slobbering manics.

I end up in the company of Linda and Aoife, yet again. This time with Bernard Brogan of the Dublin GAA team and some of his mates. I tell him how much I despise the GAA as an organization and how much I love Shels. Whilst pished up. Other than that he was sound.

For the first time in Phi Phi, I lose absolutely everyone and blank out. I wake up the next morning on the bar of a drinking establishment with from my knees down soaking wet, it's not urine thank you very much but sea water and I've sand all over me. I can't help but feel I've done something stupid. I had.


I knew it was time to leave Phi-Phi when on my walk home to add to my ever growing bucket collection, where yet again I hadn't slept, everyone around having breakfast were laughing and joking and calling me "2 bucket man" or "Danny 2 buckets"

Taxi.

Next stop, Krabi again, to recover and sort our shit out before hitting Khao Lak for the Christmas.

Goodbyes were said to everyone and while everyone was all emotional, something tells me, this isn't the end for certain characters as I've found out before. Ferry and a bus ahead of us....


Same same......



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