Everywhere we went and everyone we met along the way assumed me and B were a couple. It was funny at first but eventually it got a bit tedious. So I should have known better when I assumed the 2 people on our bus to the port for the ferry to Phi-Phi were a couple. The Oasis loving Shaun and the beautiful Joey, both English, had just met also. That caused a lovely awkward silence, for about 8 seconds as I just can't keep my mouth shut and can talk the paint into coming down off the walls.
We're having a beer waiting for the ferry chatting away, I give the food a miss as it's crawling away from me so we get another beer instead for wheat intake. The ferry itself is probablt the best mode of transport we've taken whilst in Asia, airplanes included, which really should have worried us a lot more than it did.
B and Joey are sleeping, me and Shaun are listening to tunes and drinking some beer, pointing out the absolute knob heads posing in their XXXSmall pink tank tops with bleached hair, creatine-d to fuck, dragging their knuckles around itching for a fight.
There was quite a few, hopefully we wouldn't be seeing too much of them as I was thinking they'd more than likely get distracted by their own reflection in something like an oncoming bus.
Unfortunately, Phi-Phi has no automobiles, only push bikes or the very odd motorbike. You can walk the entire island very handy. I was in love with it straight away.
Laura, the scouser from Vang Vieng met us at the port, she had booked accomodation for us in the huts beside her. Shaun decided to bunk in with us and Joey went for a dorm somewhere along the strip.
The Graham fella is about with pink shorts an' all, it must be a dare!
Something quick to eat and we're out for a few buckets. I had swore blind I'd never touch another one after tubing but all of a sudden the excuses I'm using are embarrassing me even...
-It's too warm for beer (pffft)
- It's cheaper to get a bucket
-It's cheaper to get a bucket and it's buy one get one free. I have 2 hands so it makes sense....
Everyone was using "buy one take one" as they say there, to split with someone so you were basically getting a bucket half price. Not me, 2 at a time. M150 galore. In truth, I'm an idiot.
B is still feeling rough from the wine which was only the night before, it seems ages ago. We get to this bar, it's an Irish bar.
I usually hate Irish bars outside Ireland, let's face it, I've been to many a pub around my country of birth and never ever have I seen a giant leprachaun hanging out the door saying "Pog mo thoin".
That's Irish for "kiss my arse" everyone outside Ireland seems to think that's hilarious for some reason.
In danger of going on a rant here so I'll swerve and say that a lot of the gang from tubing were here. Well, The Scousers, the Vikings, the South African beauties and people who I had met briefly, Chloe and Jasmine. An awful lot of heroes here.
I find myself wandering around, lost when out of nowhere I hear that undeniable accent. Sure wasn't it only Linda and Aoife from tubing. Is everyone from that bloody place here? They're their usual selves mucking about. Aoife slagging everything that moves and Linda being too fucked to form sentences. Classy burds'!
We end up at Slinkys, it seems to be the place everyone goes after midnight.
It's a tent with a bar and a strobe light. Perfect.
I've never been a fan of beach parties or Ibiza or any of that "Shagaluf" shite, but I really enjoyed it here. Not a knob head to be found. Everyone was really really sound and drunk, oh so drunk. I find B and she still feels tired and she just doesn't seem up for it. We'd had a few beers and a few laughs earlier at the hut but it has sorta done her in. She heads back with the Shaun fella and I keep the party going.
Me, Linda and Aoife (in her patented santa hat) are having a grand auld time. Slagging people mostly.
Despite my heroics on the drinking front I manage to keep a level head, knowing what I was doing to a certain extent. The girls however are rubbished. Aoife has disappeared so me and Linda ttempt looking for her, the only problem is that Linda can't even find herself.
After convincing her she was back at her hut I walked with/carried her there and even had to open the door, this was hilarious by the way. It was then I realized I had no idea where I was. Fuck it, I was staying here for the night, I'll tackle the rest of Phi-Phi tomorrow....
Meeting more Dubliners, a Viking in a boxing ring and me and B having a mash potato eating contest in the next installment.
See yiz then.
We're having a beer waiting for the ferry chatting away, I give the food a miss as it's crawling away from me so we get another beer instead for wheat intake. The ferry itself is probablt the best mode of transport we've taken whilst in Asia, airplanes included, which really should have worried us a lot more than it did.
B and Joey are sleeping, me and Shaun are listening to tunes and drinking some beer, pointing out the absolute knob heads posing in their XXXSmall pink tank tops with bleached hair, creatine-d to fuck, dragging their knuckles around itching for a fight.
There was quite a few, hopefully we wouldn't be seeing too much of them as I was thinking they'd more than likely get distracted by their own reflection in something like an oncoming bus.
Unfortunately, Phi-Phi has no automobiles, only push bikes or the very odd motorbike. You can walk the entire island very handy. I was in love with it straight away.
Laura, the scouser from Vang Vieng met us at the port, she had booked accomodation for us in the huts beside her. Shaun decided to bunk in with us and Joey went for a dorm somewhere along the strip.
The Graham fella is about with pink shorts an' all, it must be a dare!
Something quick to eat and we're out for a few buckets. I had swore blind I'd never touch another one after tubing but all of a sudden the excuses I'm using are embarrassing me even...
-It's too warm for beer (pffft)
- It's cheaper to get a bucket
-It's cheaper to get a bucket and it's buy one get one free. I have 2 hands so it makes sense....
Everyone was using "buy one take one" as they say there, to split with someone so you were basically getting a bucket half price. Not me, 2 at a time. M150 galore. In truth, I'm an idiot.
B is still feeling rough from the wine which was only the night before, it seems ages ago. We get to this bar, it's an Irish bar.
I usually hate Irish bars outside Ireland, let's face it, I've been to many a pub around my country of birth and never ever have I seen a giant leprachaun hanging out the door saying "Pog mo thoin".
That's Irish for "kiss my arse" everyone outside Ireland seems to think that's hilarious for some reason.
In danger of going on a rant here so I'll swerve and say that a lot of the gang from tubing were here. Well, The Scousers, the Vikings, the South African beauties and people who I had met briefly, Chloe and Jasmine. An awful lot of heroes here.
I find myself wandering around, lost when out of nowhere I hear that undeniable accent. Sure wasn't it only Linda and Aoife from tubing. Is everyone from that bloody place here? They're their usual selves mucking about. Aoife slagging everything that moves and Linda being too fucked to form sentences. Classy burds'!
We end up at Slinkys, it seems to be the place everyone goes after midnight.
It's a tent with a bar and a strobe light. Perfect.
I've never been a fan of beach parties or Ibiza or any of that "Shagaluf" shite, but I really enjoyed it here. Not a knob head to be found. Everyone was really really sound and drunk, oh so drunk. I find B and she still feels tired and she just doesn't seem up for it. We'd had a few beers and a few laughs earlier at the hut but it has sorta done her in. She heads back with the Shaun fella and I keep the party going.
Me, Linda and Aoife (in her patented santa hat) are having a grand auld time. Slagging people mostly.
Despite my heroics on the drinking front I manage to keep a level head, knowing what I was doing to a certain extent. The girls however are rubbished. Aoife has disappeared so me and Linda ttempt looking for her, the only problem is that Linda can't even find herself.
After convincing her she was back at her hut I walked with/carried her there and even had to open the door, this was hilarious by the way. It was then I realized I had no idea where I was. Fuck it, I was staying here for the night, I'll tackle the rest of Phi-Phi tomorrow....
Meeting more Dubliners, a Viking in a boxing ring and me and B having a mash potato eating contest in the next installment.
See yiz then.
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