We jump aboard a bus for Sandakan, a 4 hour or so (you can never really tell on these fellas) journey. I'm eyeing up some of the gems on board and getting slaps off B for being a "sleaze". They weren't even that great anyway and hadn't a word of English. Ahh here's our stop.
Wrong, we're just getting off to buy some spicy chicken feet and take a pish into this here hole they're calling a toilet. It's one of the most annoying journey's I've been on, it's so bad I decide to start reading "The Secret". Don't slag me, actually shag off I don't care, you weren't on this bus. Don't judge.
The funny thing is, alot of things about Malaysia/Borneo annoyed me, the plan had been to spend a full month here but we were already missing the Philippinas and it was a general concensus that this wouldn't reach the dizzying heights that the seven thousand plus islands to the east had done for us.
The money, Ringit, was a load of rubbish, with four Ringit to the Euro, it wasn't great value at all.
Off the bus and a quick taxi ride to the harbour before we were back temporary house hunting, we found a spot we thought was quite good and it was, except we priced it wrong and it was in fact, quite expensive. Cack.
They don't drink round these parts and all the wimmin' are covered head to toe like teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, everythings quite expensive and people are really really rude. Can't say I'm warming to this place. We sit in the first night watching awful tv after booking a trip down the Kinabatangan River and see some caves n' that. Should be fun.
A heroic Chinese woman brings us around in her jeep the following day to go cave hunting. It's sound as fook, there's people that sleep there to stop savages robbing eggs and larva and selling them. It's about 100 metres high, maybe more. We need a flash light to get around, what is it about Borneo with flash lights for everything?
Good laugh in the caves but we're heading to the river now. But not before we meet some of them Orange.U.Tans hopping around after robbing food from some chaps gaff.
We get a speed boat out to this little island jobbie for food. It's boring as fook. We're so hungry we have everything eaten in 20 minutes and now we've to spend 3 hours sitting around looking at each others ugly mush.
Eventually we get onto the river and it's all worth it. As far as I can remember, we see 6 different types of monkey and 120,000* different birds and lizards and a whopper crocodile swimming around, he was a little bitch though and wouldn't come near us, I must have flexed.
After we'd finished our jungle river trip, it was back home to our humble abode for the next 2 days via a cafe for a green curry.
6 bottles of Tiger beer sitting on the floor while we planned out our next adventure. It was decided in plain light, after this, we didn't need to waste anymore time here, Thailand awaited. We organised a flight from Sandakan airport to Kuala Lumpur after an overnight stay, to train it up to Thailand.
The fun has just begun folks.
* Not exact number
Next installment is about being bored in KL, being bored on a train and the most boring place in the history of anywhere; Butterworth.
But then we get to Thailand :D
A shite joke to leave yiz with;
Ghost walks into a bar, says to barman "Rum and coke there chief"
Barman says "Sorry, we don't serve spirits"
This is dedicated to my mate Joe whose gone back home to watch Sheffield United in the play-off final.
Miss ya fella, up the Blades!
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